Wednesday, August 12, 2009


**One of my favorites from 2006**

This subject of today's blog: men.
No, I am not here to put any individual or individuals on blast, so don't worry. I am just here to make a general statement about the current state of most of the men I have had the displeasure of interacting with. To be specific, the work-in-progress.

The work-in-progress is the man that does not have a clue who he is or what he wants. He may be in the middle of finding himself while in college, grad school, while in a long-term relationship, after a bad breakup or marriage, whatever life changing event causes him to step back and re-examine his life. Such life changing moments and self-realizations are best handled in the comfort of your own home. So why do these works-in-progress keep trying to holla at me? Are you serious? Why are you trying to pull me into your post-baby mama, post divorce, I-am-trying-to-make-something-of-myself-after-8-years-in-college bullshit?

Don't get me wrong. I have no problem with someone realizing that they need to make serious changes in their lives. That is a sign of maturity and growth and I applaud such insight. I went through it too. However, I had the happy misfortune of finding myself after a wasted 2 years at my first college. I am still paying for my mistake but, since I have already hit rock bottom back at the tender age of 20, I can only go up from there. Nothing will ever be as bad as those times. Since then, I know who I am. I know my strengths and weaknesses. No question. But it is because I took time to find myself, by myself.

The WIP, however, thinks that by trying to get under another woman, he can speed up the process. And 98% of the time, the cause of the self-realization is due to a woman. Ok, so you just broke up with your cheating girlfriend of 3 years or you finally filed for divorce, or you are in a custody battle with your baby mama for one of your two kids, or you have a kid or kids ( sad) on the way. That challenge/change just happened to you. Why you trying to talk to me? Your life isn't together, why bring someone else into your chaos?

I know, I sound angry again. I wouldn't even bring up this topic if it wasn't a problem with my other friends too. I am not saying to just count out the new dads, newly single, heartbroken, or new divorcee. What I am saying is take some time out to repair. Think about what you really want for yourself or your child or your family first. Then, when you have that in order and you don't still find yourself crying at night or drinking over the situation, holla at me. When WIPs trying to start something new with another women, you just bring all your baggage and B.S. to the table. That usually results in a lot of frustrated and pissed off women that have wasted their time.

Don't waste our time, guys. Don't.

Get yourself together first.